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McDonald’s Downsizing: There Goes Our Lot In Life By Craig Wilson (USA Today)

Posted by Ed and Lois

I wonder does this apply to churches?

McDonald’s began phasing out its trademark Super Size fries and drinks last week. By the end of the year, they will be history.

In a land where bigger is better and size most definitely does matter, the demise of the Super Size trademark seems almost un-American.

In the good old days, we’d have called it a communist plot, but communists don’t seem to have plots anymore. And while I can’t be absolutely sure, I don’t think this downsizing is part of the gay agenda, either.

So we’ll just chalk it up to the fact that even McDonald’s realized too much of a good thing isn’t always a good thing, despite what Mae West might have once believed.

I will confess that on more than one occasion over the years, I sidled up to that molded plastic counter under the golden arches and recited the two magical words most red-blooded Americans master long before kindergarten: “Supersize it!”

For the record, I’d also like to report that I would always add a Diet Coke to that order. My quest for a balanced diet. But no more. One of pop culture’s most popular rallying cries has now been silenced.

Could this be the beginning of a tiny trend? Is McDonald’s setting the stage for smaller things to come? Could our world really be getting smaller, right along with our waistlines?

I wouldn’t buy new jeans just yet.

Getting people out of their SUVs and into Mini Coopers will be a bit of a squeeze.

And what about all those people in all those McMansions? Will they be downsizing soon, slipping into something more cozy?

Will they leave behind their two-story vestibules and their four-car garages and the living room no one ever sits in because everyone’s watching TV in the supersized family room off the supersized kitchen, the one with the obligatory granite counters?

I wouldn’t bet the ranch house on that, either.

It’s not really in our nature as a people. Square footage is an inalienable American right.

America didn’t get to be the country it is today — for better or worse — thinking small thoughts. Growing up, no one I knew ever aspired to a galley kitchen.

Lewis and Clark didn’t stay in St. Louis. They headed west to the Big Sky Country and beyond.

Cher didn’t get to be a superstar by thinking small, either, except when it came to Sonny, and she got rid of him.

And where would we as a people be without the Big Gulp at 7-Eleven?

So let’s hear for the huge tubs of popcorn waiting for us at the movies.

Let’s hear it for Dolly Parton, who still struts her stuff with pride.

And let’s hear it for my friend Melanie down in Mississippi who still wears her hair big and proud.

It’s what America’s all about. Square footage.

And while we’re at it, let’s have a moment of silence for supersize, now wiped from our lips.

It was the perfect American verb.

 

Krispy Kreme To Reward Palm Beach County Students

Posted by Ed and Lois

From Associated Press August 25, 2004

WEST PALM BEACH—Krispy Kreme has offered to reward students with a doughnut for every A on their report card _ up to six per grading period _ sparking concern among school officials trying to fight childhood obesity.

Under one promotion, Krispy Kreme stores will give Palm Beach County students in kindergarten through sixth grade a free doughnut for every A on their report card. Another program has students decorate posters of doughnuts with ``success sprinkles’’ when children meet goals. The posters can be turned in for a class set of doughnuts.
``Krispy Kreme doughnuts are very good, especially when the ‘hot’ lights are on, but I can’t say that there’s anything healthy about them,’’ school board member Debra Robinson said Tuesday. ``Can’t we find something else? I mean a doughnut?’‘

Bear Turns Out To Be Beer Snob

Posted by Ed and Lois

From Fox News.com

BAKER LAKE, Wash. (AP) — Rain-eeeeer .... Bear?

When state Fish and Wildlife agents recently found a black bear passed out on the lawn of Baker Lake Resort, there were some clues scattered nearby — dozens of empty cans of Rainier Beer (search).

The bear apparently got into campers’ coolers and used his claws and teeth to puncture the cans. And not just any cans.

“He drank the Rainier and wouldn’t drink the Busch beer,” said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.

Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest.

“He didn’t like that [Busch] and consumed, as near as we can tell, about 36 cans of Rainier.”

A wildlife agent tried to chase the bear from the campground but the animal just climbed a tree to sleep it off for another four hours. Agents finally herded the bear away, but it returned the next morning.

Agents then used a large, humane trap to capture it for relocation, baiting the trap with the usual: doughnuts, honey and, in this case, two open cans of Rainier. That did the trick.

“This is a new one on me,” Heinck said. “I’ve known them to get into cans, but nothing like this. And it definitely had a preference.”

— Thanks to Out There readers Paul C. and Tim A.

Ellen DeGeneres To Star In Oh, God!

Posted by Ed and Lois

From U.S.A Today August 24, 2004

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Comedian Ellen DeGeneres is getting a promotion — to supreme being. DeGeneres will star as God in a remake of the 1977 comedy Oh, God!
  Ellen Degeneres suits up as the supreme being in remake of Oh, God!

The original starred George Burns as the creator and John Denver as a supermarket manager tapped as a new prophet.

“Ellen is a strong comedian and she has always done material about God and questions about God,” said Jerry Weintraub, who produced the original movie and also will oversee the remake.

Weintraub said he’ll hire a screenwriter and director with the aim to shoot the movie during a break in DeGeneres’ schedule from her talk show next summer.

Though successful on the small screen, DeGeneres misfired in an earlier transition to film with the romantic-comedy flop Mr. Wrong. She helped score a hit with her voice work on last year’s animated tale Finding Nemo.

Cafe Church (By Mark from Germany)

Posted by Ed and Lois

Interesting suggestions on what a cafe church might look like. What might that look like in Holland?

I usually recommend that people find a café that is appropriate and ask permission from the owner to start a regular event/conversation/spoken word/whatever you decide to call it. This solves most of the logistics - rent, who makes the coffee, coolness factor, etc and also it lets you start up immediately.
The only drawback is privacy, and I remember once we got too big and wanted more privacy to pray over people, and we had to move the group into a house.
But you have gone the other way, in creating your own café scene. Churches that do this often get stuck in a basement of a church building because they can’t afford anything else.
But they can work.
I offer the following suggestions for your cafe church.

1. Go WiFi. Give people the option of surfing the net wirelessly during the event. You might want to think about what you want them to look at or track online that will enhance the theme.
2. Preaching is awkward. Open mike is better. Have lots of people give short stories, poems, readings, whatever. 5 minute limit.
3. Coffee shop dynamics and aesthetics mean that people can look if they want but they don’t have to. You have to win their attention. Don’t force everyone to give attention.
4. Obviously people will be getting their coffee and tea during the event. Make it easy for them to get it anytime without interrupting anything.
5. If you use an open mike, anyone is allowed to share. You will have non-Christians get up and read their poetry or thoughts as well, so be prepared for that. It sometimes helps to have a host who can guide the event and then have the final word.
6. Music. I would go for either a DJ who can create a relaxing background soundscape, or I would go for a guitarist who may lead some accoustic songs from a stool. No more than 2 or 3 musicians. Less is more. Don’t put a band up there - overkill!!!!
7. If people are sitting around at tables, which I assume they are, you can create some exercises or table-based discussions that get them interacting and contributing.

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