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Defining Worship by Adam davidson (at Ginkworld)
Posted by Ed and Lois
Experiencing God When He’s Not There
What do you do when you know you’re supposed to worship and yet you feel like something is missing…and that something is God? You sing to an empty room. You pray to the ceiling tiles. You sacrifice praise—to nothing. Your silent moments are met by silent moments instead of that still, small voice that once reminded you that He was there.
If you’re like me, the response to this is a virtual sword fight between cognitive and emotional. Your internal monologue is more of a dialogue as you bounce back and forth between fact and feeling. God is everywhere… but He’s not here. God has a plan for my life…but He’s keeping it a secret. God loves me… but He’s ignoring me.
And this has been going on for a long time. What’s wrong? What am I doing wrong? Have you spent time in this place?
Comments:
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Whoa. Like, way too real.
This really describes my life at times, sometimes for significant stretches of time.
Thing is, many of the saints (ancient and medieval Christian writers) report the same thing. Saint John of the Cross wrote about something he called “the long, dark night of the soul.” I think it was Augustine who talked of the times when “the prayers were like sand in the mouth.” Even CS Lewis talked of times when he worried he was praying to the ceiling.
It really sucks. Why can’t God be more visible in my life, in our lives? And when He’s not, doubt creeps in. I’m not so pious as to say I have times where doubt gnaws at my faith. Is the invisible, silent God who won’t respond to my prayers and won’t help with my requests real?
I guess in the end it’s about obedience and faith. I don’t FEEL like a Christ-follower sometimes/frequently/often. I CHOOSE to be. Prayer and worship is a choice. Hopefully not a bad choice, hopefully the right choice, but a choice nonetheless. And like remembering winter on a summer day, at those times when God is visible and present and answering my prayers, I look back and wonder how I ever doubted.
Until the next time the “son” goes behind a cloud and my world gets dark and cold again…
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 10/21 at 08:56 AM