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McDonald’s Downsizing: There Goes Our Lot In Life By Craig Wilson (USA Today)

Posted by Ed and Lois

McDonald’s began phasing out its trademark Super Size fries and drinks last week. By the end of the year, they will be history.

In a land where bigger is better and size most definitely does matter, the demise of the Super Size trademark seems almost un-American.

In the good old days, we’d have called it a communist plot, but communists don’t seem to have plots anymore. And while I can’t be absolutely sure, I don’t think this downsizing is part of the gay agenda, either.

So we’ll just chalk it up to the fact that even McDonald’s realized too much of a good thing isn’t always a good thing, despite what Mae West might have once believed.

I will confess that on more than one occasion over the years, I sidled up to that molded plastic counter under the golden arches and recited the two magical words most red-blooded Americans master long before kindergarten: “Supersize it!”

For the record, I’d also like to report that I would always add a Diet Coke to that order. My quest for a balanced diet. But no more. One of pop culture’s most popular rallying cries has now been silenced.

Could this be the beginning of a tiny trend? Is McDonald’s setting the stage for smaller things to come? Could our world really be getting smaller, right along with our waistlines?

I wouldn’t buy new jeans just yet.

Getting people out of their SUVs and into Mini Coopers will be a bit of a squeeze.

And what about all those people in all those McMansions? Will they be downsizing soon, slipping into something more cozy?

Will they leave behind their two-story vestibules and their four-car garages and the living room no one ever sits in because everyone’s watching TV in the supersized family room off the supersized kitchen, the one with the obligatory granite counters?

I wouldn’t bet the ranch house on that, either.

It’s not really in our nature as a people. Square footage is an inalienable American right.

America didn’t get to be the country it is today — for better or worse — thinking small thoughts. Growing up, no one I knew ever aspired to a galley kitchen.

Lewis and Clark didn’t stay in St. Louis. They headed west to the Big Sky Country and beyond.

Cher didn’t get to be a superstar by thinking small, either, except when it came to Sonny, and she got rid of him.

And where would we as a people be without the Big Gulp at 7-Eleven?

So let’s hear for the huge tubs of popcorn waiting for us at the movies.

Let’s hear it for Dolly Parton, who still struts her stuff with pride.

And let’s hear it for my friend Melanie down in Mississippi who still wears her hair big and proud.

It’s what America’s all about. Square footage.

And while we’re at it, let’s have a moment of silence for supersize, now wiped from our lips.

It was the perfect American verb.

Comments:

1. Well, the Boyinks will pitch in to maintain the use of the “perfect American verb”, at least with our favorite mechanical friend, “Dutch” (which was our ‘66 CJ5 Jeep that I’ve owned for 19 years). 

   This year Dutch was falling apart, and needed a frame-up.  I realized that by the time I’d be able to complete it Dutch would be too small - darn kids and their legs anyway! ;)

   So we decided to “Supersize it!” into a CJ6, which is a CJ5 with 20 inches added to the midsection.  Dutch was parted out (I saved the good stuff) and last week we took delivery of the 1964 CJ6 now known as “SupersizeDutch”, or “SSDutch” for short.

   So while we’re ready to get back to sanely-sized drinks and fries, we’ll take ours to go with enough knee-room to go ‘round.

   Even for Dolly.

   Posted by Mike Boyink  on  08/26  at  07:10 PM

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