manna?

Pod Cast For Sunday March 30

Posted by Ed and Lois

No Pod cast this week because Pastor Greg broke our mic. I know you think he did it on purpose but, I assure you it was an accident. Really it was an accident. No really. I know there was a lot of geography last week and that doesn’t translate weel to a pod cast but, it was an accident. Really. You wouldn’t think that of Pastor Dave, why would you think it of Greg? It was an accident. Could happen to anybody. Couldn’t it? 

Comments:

1. OK, OK… you got me.  It’s time to confess: I broke the mic on purpose.  But I might as well confess to the reason, as well....

   I can’t believe that I’m going to share this in public.  It will likely be the last thing I ever do.  “They” will move quickly to silence and discredit me.  Sever the brake lines in my car and plant hundreds of Pee Wee Herman and midget Anime videos on my laptop hard drive to make me look like an unstable nut.  But it’s time to reveal the awful Truth.

   I broke the mic because for many years I have been part of a Secret Society.  Some have whispered that we are an offshoot of the medieval Templar conspiracy that merged with the Masons but the Truth is that the Templars and Masons are more well-known offshoots of our Brotherhood which traces its roots back to a fanatical conglomeration of exiled Zoroastrian bankers that established themselves in the forests of southern Belgium in the second century BC and orchestrated Caesar’s invasion of Gaul to distract attention from our efforts in the region and to advance our Master Plan.

   Which brings me to the breaking of the mic.  Last Thursday as I was walking toward Manna I noticed a strip of duct tape applied in a certain way to a certain telephone pole on Central Ave in front of the bowling alley, which was a predetermined signal for me to check the dead drop in the dumpster behind the Armory building.  There I found an message concealed in a bag of rotting coffee grounds which further instructed me to proceed to the Van Raalte statue in Centennial Park.  The message gave me a cipher key which allowed me to interpret Van Raalte’s gestures in the statue (In addition to founding Hope College Albertus Van Raalte was also a member of our Secret Brotherhood, which is why he founded Hope College… it also fits into our Master Plan).  Decoding the secrets of the statue led me to a certain folio in the rare periodicals room at the library across from the park where I was able to decode a message hidden in a railway timetable published in a 1893 edition of the Holland Sentinel.  That message instructed me to break the wireless mic at Manna on Saturday night at precisely 6:32 PM.  Of course I obeyed Their instructions, as I have always done.

   But why, you wonder, did They want me to break the mic?  I may have revealed this much, but I will not reveal that piece of the puzzle.  Just know that it is small but complex step within our Master Plan.  We will achieve our Objectives.  Certainly not in my lifetime, perhaps not within the next 1,000 years, but the success of our Master Plan is inevitable.  The breaking of the mic only makes our eventual triumph more certain.  Resistance is futile.

   Again, I hold little hope that They will not Silence me permanently for revealing Their existence.  But should I survive, I promise you that I will never again break the Manna mic… unless i receive Further Instructions.

   Posted by  on  04/02  at  08:10 AM

2. I trust that no one took pastor Greg’s lighthearted rant seriously.  There is no secret society.  Absolutely none. Never has been, never will be.  In no way is pastor Greg or anyone else in leadership at Manna part of a secret society, bent on bringing down the institutional church in order for us to seize all property and assets of said church, in order to fund our efforts to take control of all bottled water facilities in the Western Hemisphere, injecting them with a potent but untraceable hallucinogen which will, in response to a predetermined signal, cause all those who have ingested the water to immediately begin destroying all microphones and recording equipment within a 5 mile radius of their current location in order to cripple the efforts of local congregations in providing their congregants with a call to arms in response to the takeover of all denominational offices and church headquarters throughout the Western world.  No such society exists.  We have no designs on existing church structures, nor any intention of keeping the “Dark Secret” from the masses. The unfortunate disabling of the microphone at Manna this past week was an untimely, but completely coincidental occurrence...As would be the eerily similar but also completely coincidental, horrifically gruesome “accident” that might befall pastor Greg should any additional “lighthearted rants” be forthcoming.

   Posted by  on  04/02  at  04:14 PM

3. Well played, Mr. X, well played.

   You think that by revealing only small parts of our Master Plan you will discredit it because the sheep-like masses will not see it it all its glorious complexity.  Well, that’s been tried before when small pieces of the plan were leaked to the media (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6884760337291305837) but like the mic last Saturday at Manna all of these are empty trails that lead nowhere, meant only to distract the authorities from our Ultimate Objectives.

   Sleep well, sleep well.

   Posted by  on  04/02  at  05:15 PM

4. Plan 7 is in place with Plan 8 in it’s final test stages. Lets hope we never have to use Plan 9. You can see what happened the last time we had to use it. Also, we need to ground the “squirrel”

   Boris and Natasha

   Posted by  on  04/03  at  11:35 AM