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The Relationship Driven Church by John O’Keef (Ginkworld.net)

Posted by Ed Miller

It seems that all churches I know are looking for that one, perfect magical program that will make it easy for church growth; some kind of special musical style that will attract people like crazy; that one charismatic pastor with great hair, perfect teeth, a winning smile, with a blond wife and two point five kids (that will work for almost nothing and be on call 26 hours aday); that “all-in-one” special “thing” that will help them grow a church that will put the “mega-church” to shame.  Most churches are driven by their desire to reach numbers that will make other church take notice of their wonderful abilities to do a “true” ministry of God. 
It seems that all churches are looking for that magic pill, that special program, that one thing that will help them grow – and because of that, they will devour all that publishers and writes place before them, as long as the magic words “church growth” are added to the program line.

Over time, churches have been purposed, programmed, envisioned, deconstructed, restructured, re-envisioned, reprogrammed and deprogrammed, slapped with oil, powdering on the bottom and wrapped in a diaper then sent on their way.  In fact, church have had so much of all this “stuff” that the average church library looks like a “who’s who” in the business world and Christian publishing.  Yet with the billions being spent on all this “stuff” the church in America is in decline, why?  What?  You mean you never figured that with all the garbage we consume about being programmed we would be in decline?  Well, truth is, we are shoving programs down our collective pipes and we are not growing.  Many church honchos forget that what program works in one area, will not work in another – canned programs never, never work the same in all areas, or even with all people in the same area; heck, they will not work between generations.  I will even go as far as to say that “programs” in general do not work well – because it is a natural thing for the “program church” to develop it to a point where reality it lost.

As I said above, developing relationships can never be programmed.  Because what is organic can never be systemized, when we take the organic and try to organize it we develop “engineered” life.  In my past experiences, no program has ever helped develop a true and honest, lasting relationship.  The idea of a “relationship driven church” cannot be programmed, because when it is it loses the spontaneous reality of relationships.  So, if developing a “relationship driven church” is not a program, what is it?  Think of it this way, it is a lifestyle.  It is a lifestyle based, not on a “thing” but on a person.  It is a lifestyle based on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.  To be a relationship driven church we need to look to Christ as our example.  How did Jesus develop relationships?  What did Jesus do to make friends?  How did Jesus interact with those around him?  What did Jesus say about looking into the heart of a person, and not judge the outside?

Jesus made friends with many people, from many walks of life and many different lifestyles.  He never judged them (except the religious leaders) for who they were, and he was willing to go that extra mile to truly be connected to people.  He cared more about the heart of people, then developing a program that would do very little for them.  Jesus did something very important, that many churches today miss – he made friends with people, he was not “just friendly” to people.  What many churches today do not realize is that we are not looking for a “friendly church” we are looking for a “church of friends,” a church were we can make and keep friendships.  People today are disconnected with each other, and no program will make that connection.  What needs to happen, I believe, is that the church needs to develop this “relationship driven church” into a core of it’s being, and not as part of the church program.

Read the full article at Ginkworld.net